


Make Babies, It's A Simple Order

by confetticas



Series: SLAMverse [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Chuck as God, Crack, Heaven, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-05
Updated: 2012-03-05
Packaged: 2017-11-02 17:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/confetticas/pseuds/confetticas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck and Castiel have a talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Babies, It's A Simple Order

“All right, we need to have a talk.”  
  
Castiel blinks, glancing over and then gaping in shock at what he sees.  
  
“Yes, yes,” Chuck waves a hand lazily. “I’m God, I’m a terrible bastard for lying to you and the Winchester’s, you can’t believe I never said anything. Now that that’s out of the way, like I said, we need to talk.”  
  
Castiel gapes some more, unable to quite wrap his mind around the situation.  
  
Chuck rolls His eyes. “C’mon, kid, catch up. I know you aren’t this slow, I created you,” He chides impatiently.   
  
“Father,” Castiel finally manages, with decidedly mixed emotions.  
  
“There we go!” Chuck exclaims proudly. “Now we’re getting somewhere. So, first off, why haven’t you been to see Dean since Sam’s swan dive?”  
  
Castiel looks vastly uncomfortable. “He is… happy,” the way Castiel says it, it sounds like an absolutely terrible thing for Dean to be. “And Sam does not deserve Hell.”  
  
“Seriously, catch up,” Chuck scoffs with another eye-roll. “Sam isn’t in the Cage anymore. It’s all vacancies down there, your older brothers and the younger Winchester’s have much more important things to worry about than eternal torture. Now, tell Me you aren’t so stupid that you actually think that Dean Winchester is _happy_ with the life he’s living right now,” He demands.  
  
Castiel looks stubborn. “Happier than he has been.”  
  
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Chuck mutters disbelievingly. “This is a joke, right? You aren’t serious, are you?”  
  
Castiel crosses his arms defensively, and for the sake of maintaining at least some façade of respect, absolutely does not reply to that.   
  
Chuck throws His hands up in the air. “The things I do for you people,” He mutters, more to Himself than to Castiel. “All right, I’ll spell it out for you: Dean isn’t happy. He loves the idea of Lisa, not Lisa. Normality is killing him and sucking his personality away into nothing. Go find your human, have a nice, long chick flick moment, and then give me grandbabies.”  
  
“…what?” Castiel manages after a few minutes of staring at his Father in dumbfounded disbelief. This entire conversation is insane. Castiel is pretty sure he’s dreaming, or something. Maybe he’s drunk again? He doesn’t remember drinking, but this certainly can’t be reality. Right?  
  
“I’m pretty sure I was clear,” Chuck protests, frowning. “Go find Dean. Talk. Have sex. Make babies. How does this need further instruction? Your confusion confuses me.”  
  
“I… I don’t understand,” Castiel says, helplessly confused.   
  
Chuck rolls His eyes. “Which part isn’t clear to you?” He asks impatiently.  
  
“…all of it?” Castiel answers honestly. “You… want Dean and I to have children?”  
  
“Yes!” Chuck exclaims, sounding a little triumphant about it. “There you go. I knew you’d get there eventually, kiddo. I’m doing you a favor here, really. You were going to make yourself really miserable, I’m just preventing that. Now, go, shoo,” Chuck waves dismissively. “Dean needs you.”  
  
Castiel’s eyes widen in alarm and he’s gone the second the words ‘Dean needs you’ pass Chuck’s lips.  
  
“…I should’ve led with that,” Chuck concedes to the empty room, grinning. “So easy.”


End file.
